HOW TO CHANGE YOUR THOURTH WHEN YOU CANT CHANGE ANYTHING ELSE

Let me share a quick story and a powerful lesson with you... “There’s a vivid, beautiful, priceless piece of art hanging right in front of you. It’s sophisticated and detailed – a painstaking labor of deep devotion and love. The colors and textures are like no other – they soar and dip, they shine bright and leap right out at you! And yet you choose to fixate your eyes on the tiny, dark housefly that has landed on the edge this masterpiece. Why would you choose to do such a thing?” She cracked a half smile in my direction and then shifted her gaze down to the ground. “Look,” I said, “the point here is that there’s no possible way to be 100% certain about anything in this world. Life, like good art, is sophisticated, complex and unpredictable. So you’re left with a choice: either appreciate it and look for the beauty in it, or focus on the worst and dwell on it.” But if you expect the worst, you’re never disappointed,” she said under her breath. 

 “Yeah, but who really lives like that?” I replied. “No one – that’s who! People die slowly every day like that, without ever truly living!” That’s the gist of a conversation I had this past weekend with an attendee of our seminar (I’m sharing this with her full permission). She literally started the conversation by telling me that expecting negative things to happen is her way of coping with life’s challenges. If you can relate in any way at all, it’s time to revamp your mindset. And make no misunderstanding about it, when you are feeling down in the dumps, the battle you are going through isn’t fueled by the words or actions of others, and it isn’t fueled by what did or didn’t happen in the past either. It’s fueled entirely by your mind that gives negativity a voice. Believing in negative thoughts and acting on them is the single greatest barrier to living a good life. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, the mind is your battleground. It’s the place where the fiercest and most ruthless conflict resides. It’s where half of the things you feared were going to happen, never actually happened. It’s where your expectations always get the best of you. It’s where you fall victim to your own train of thought time and time again. And if you allow these self-defeating thoughts to dwell in your mind, they will succeed in robbing you of peace, joy, productivity, meaning, and ultimately your life. You will think yourself into endless disappointment, heartache, and even depression. Bottom line: You are what you think! And you can’t change anything if you can’t change your thinking. But are you ready for the silver lining? YOU CAN change the way you think. And if you can change the way you think, you can master a new way to be.

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HOW TO FEEL BETTER ABOUT NOT BEING GOOD AS YOU SHOULD BE

Here’s the bitter truth: we will never be as good as we think we should be.
None of us will.
There will inevitably be times when we slip up and fail to meet our (unreasonable) expectations of ourselves.  It’ll likely happen quite often too.  And if we don’t embrace these slip-ups and failures as necessary lessons learned, we will gradually and unknowingly become self-conscious about everything we’re not doing and achieving according to planned.
Honestly, it happens every day to the best of us – we hopelessly catch ourselves thinking about how we’re falling short.

We worry that we haven’t made as much progress as we thought we would.  We worry that we’ll never be as productive as we could be.  And our worrying just leads to more senseless worrying.
We worry that we don’t…

• have better-looking bodies
• get to the gym more often
• accomplish more of our goals
• etc.

We worry that we should be doing…

• something better
• something more amazing
• all those amazing things the people on TV and social media are doing
• etc.

And so, we’re left feeling guilty that we’re not as good as we “should” be – that we’re not doing the perfect thing at the perfect time, ever.
The good news is that thoughts like these are natural, because the human mind isn’t perfect – it worries about things.  But we can learn to catch and control these thoughts, so they don’t catch and control us.

Letting Go of Our “Perfect Life” Fantasies

To an extent, we all have this lavish idea in our heads about how our lives are supposed to be.  We fantasize that we should be living a different and better life…

• A life without procrastination and failure
• A life with spectacular feats of success
• A life of travel and adventure
• A life with perfect friends, family, and partners
• etc.

And through it all we’re supposed to be smiling too, right?
Wrong!  That’s not how life really works.  At least not 24/7.
The truth is, we are miraculously flawed human beings living miraculously flawed lives.  And the “miraculous” part only transpires when we accept and make the best of what we have.
Close your eyes and reflect on the present reality of your life, and whisper, “I am OK.  Life is OK.  I will let my present life situation be what it is, instead of what I think it should be, and I will make the best of it.”
The key is to accept the fact that there’s no such thing as a perfect life.  There’s no perfect thing you should have already accomplished, and no perfect sequence of things you should be accomplishing right now.
There’s just this moment you’re living through and what you choose to do with it.
And yes, disappointment with this moment, with yourself, and with others is often part of the picture – there’s no escaping this reality.
But what will you choose to do…
You can be disappointed in this moment and do nothing, or you can practice being satisfied with the opportunity to make the very best of it.

WITH ALL THESE AROUND YOU, MAKES YOU A MAN

We all struggle. We all suffer on the inside. Every day… We worry. We procrastinate. We feel overwhelmed. We feel angry. We feel lonely. We don’t feel good enough. We wish we were thinner We wish we had more money. We wish our jobs were different. We wish our relationships were different. We think everything in life should be easier. And yet, every one of these struggles is self-created. They are real, but they are only real because we have created them in our minds. We have attached ourselves to certain ideals and fantasies about how life has to be in order to be good enough for us. We worry because things might not turn out how we expect. We procrastinate because we fear discomfort and failure. We feel overwhelmed because we think we should be further along than we are. We feel angry because life should not be this way. And so it goes. But it’s all in our heads. And it doesn’t have to be this way. At least not for YOU.

HOLDING ON CAN BE PAINFUL SOMETIMES

Holding on can be painful. Holding on can directly contribute to stress, health complications, unhappiness, depressive thoughts, relationship problems, and so on. Yet, as human beings, we cling desperately to almost everything. We don’t like change, so we resist it. We want life to be the way we think it “should” be. We get attached to our fantasies…. even when they hurt us So how can we stop holding on? By realizing that there’s nothing to hold on to in the first place. Most of the things we desperately try to hold on to, as if they’re real, solid, everlasting fixtures in our lives, aren’t really there. Or if they are there in some form, they’re changing, fluid, impermanent, or simply imagined in our minds. Life gets a lot easier to deal with when we understand this. Imagine you’re blindfolded and treading water in the center of a large swimming pool, and you’re struggling desperately to grab the edge of the pool that you think is nearby, but really it’s not – it’s far away. Trying to grab that imaginary edge is stressing you out, and tiring you out, as you splash around aimlessly trying to holding on to something that isn’t there. Now imagine you pause, take a deep breath, and realize that there’s nothing nearby to hold on to. Just water around you. You can continue to struggle with grabbing at something that doesn’t exist… or you can accept that there’s only water around you, and relax, and float. Today, I challenge you to ask yourself: What are you desperately trying to hold on to in your life? How is it affecting you? Then imagine the thing you’re trying to hold on to doesn’t really exist. Envision yourself letting go... and just floating. How would that change your situation? Mull that question over carefully, and then remind yourself of why it’s time to let GO... When you let go, you allow yourself to make the best of what you’ve got. 🌷🌼🌸💐🌱☘🍀🎄🌲🌳

GOD'S LOVE UPON US HUMAN BEINGS

Question:

I’ve been told that Jesus died for my sins. What does that mean exactly? How could the death of Jesus help me get to heaven? What does the death of Christ save me from?

Answer:

One way to understand the meaning of the death of Jesus is to imagine a courtroom scene in which we are on trial for our sins and God is the judge. Our sins against God are capital crimes. God Himself is our judge, and according to divine law our crimes deserve the death penalty. Death, in a spiritual sense, means eternal separation from God in unending torment. That’s a very serious judgment.

By shedding His blood on the cross, Jesus took the punishment we deserve and offered us His righteousness. When we trust Christ for our salvation, essentially we are making a trade. By faith, we trade our sin and its accompanying death penalty for His righteousness and life.

In theological terms, this is called “substitutionary atonement.” Christ died on the cross as our substitute. Without Him, we would suffer the death penalty for our own sins. Here are a few verses that explain this concept:

He [God] made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him. (2 Corinthians 5:21)

And while being reviled, He did not revile in return; while suffering, He uttered no threats, but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously; and He Himself bore our sins in His body on the cross, so that we might die to sin and live to righteousness; for by His wounds you were healed. (1 Peter 2:23-24)

Surely our griefs He Himself bore,
And our sorrows He carried;
Yet we ourselves esteemed Him stricken,
Smitten of God, and afflicted.
But He was pierced through for our transgressions,
He was crushed for our iniquities;
The chastening for our well-being fell upon Him,
And by His scourging we are healed. (Isaiah 53:4-5)

The writer to the Hebrews puts it this way: “And according to the Law, one may almost say, all things are cleansed with blood, and without shedding of blood there is no forgiveness” (Hebrews 9:22). For God to forgive our sins, His judgment had to be satisfied and that required the shedding of blood.

Some object, “Shedding blood seems so barbaric. Is it really necessary? Why doesn’t God simply forgive us?” Because God is holy, He must judge sin. Would a just and righteous judge let evil go unpunished? At the cross, God poured out His judgment on His Son, satisfying His wrath and making it possible for Him to forgive us. That’s why Jesus shed His blood for your sins, my sins, and the sins of the whole world.

At what moment during the crucifixion ordeal did God pour out His judgment on His precious Son? Many theologians believe it was toward the end of the three-hour period of darkness when Jesus cried out: “‘My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?’” (Mark 15:34). By taking upon Himself the sins of the world, Jesus removed Himself from God’s holy presence, and God, in turn, removed Himself from His Son. It was a temporary but excruciating separation, for at that moment, the Son of God became Father-forsaken.

God unleashed His wrath on His Son so that we might be spared that awful fate. This is the central message of the cross and the reason for our hope: God forsook His Son so that He might never forsake us. God assures us, “‘I will never desert you, nor will I ever forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5). Isn’t that a wonderful promise?

Have you placed your trust in Jesus Christ as the substitute for your sin? Do you believe that Jesus died for you in order to give you eternal life and that He rose from the dead victorious over sin? If not, we encourage you to receive Jesus as your Savior right now. You can express your desire in a prayer like this:

Lord Jesus, I know I am a sinner. I believe You died for my sins and rose again. I trust in You as my Savior now. Forgive me of my sins, and make me into the kind of person You would have me to be. Thank You for your gift of eternal life. Amen.

If you truly believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, you have eternal life. You can rest in that truth. The apostle John has written: “And the testimony is this, that God has given us eternal life, and this life is in His Son. He who has the Son has the life; he who does not have the Son of God does not have the life” (1 John 5:11-12). When you have the Son of God, the Lord Jesus, you have eternal life.

10 Timeless Lessons for Making Life Simple Again

For almost a decade now, Marc and I have been learning to live a simpler life.

Not simpler as in “meager.” Simpler as in “meaningful.”

We’ve been working on eliminating many of life’s complexities so we’re able to spend more time with people we love and do more activities we love. This means we’ve been gradually getting rid of mental and physical clutter, and eliminating all but the essential, so we’re left with only that which gives us value.

Our overarching goal is living a life uncluttered by most of the things people fill their lives with, leaving us with space for what truly matters. A life that isn’t constant busyness, rushing and stress, but instead contemplation, creation and connection with people and projects we love.

Of course, that doesn’t mean we have zero clutter and complications. We’re human and living in the real world with everyone else. We have a home, possessions, computers, gadgets, distractions and occasional busyness. But we have reduced it to make space.

Today, after finishing up a call with a new course student who’s working diligently to simplify various aspects of her life and business, I’ve been reflecting on this simpler life Marc and I have created for ourselves, and I thought I’d share some of these reflections with you.

Some lessons I’ve learned about living a simpler life:

1. A simpler life is about subtracting the obvious and adding the meaningful. Thus, you are wealthy in proportion to the number of unnecessary things you can afford to live without.
2. You can’t live a simpler life if you’re unwilling to change and let go of what you’re used to.
3. Letting go of old routines and habits and building new ones can be hard, but it’s easier if you do a 30-day challenge. Let go of something for 30 days and see how it affects your life. (Letting go of cable TV was one of the best decisions Marc and I made this past year – no more continuous, random, distracting noise in our home.)
4. When we travel lightly, we’re freer, less burdened, and less stressed. This applies to traveling through life too, not just traveling through an airport.
5. Decluttering your physical space can lead to a less cluttered mental space. These visual distractions pull on us and distract us in more ways than we often realize.
6. Overthinking is one of the most rampant sources of stress and mental clutter. The key is to realize that the problem is not the problem. The problem is the incredible amount of overthinking you’re doing with the problem. Let it go and be free.
7. Positivity always pays off in simplifying outcomes. So before you waste it on anger, resentment, spite or envy, think of how precious and irreplaceable your time is.
8. The simplest secret to happiness and peace in the present is letting every circumstance be what it is, instead of what you think it should be, and making the best of it.
9. Gratitude always makes life easier to deal with. Because happiness comes easier when you stop complaining about your problems and you start being grateful for all the problems you don’t have.
10. The feeling you get from doing something important (and true) is far better and less stressful than the feeling you get from sitting around wishing you were doing it.

Is this post your wake up call to a simpler life?

How many times have you thought “this isn’t working” or “something is not right” or “things have to change”? – those thoughts and words are from your inner voice. It's your wake-up call calling.

You don't need a major life crisis to wake you up. And no one needs to tell you because you already know. Your inner voice has been trying to tell you, but in case it's been a challenge to find time and space to listen through the chaos, maybe you'll resonate with one of these situations.

• If your life is on auto-pilot, this is your wake-up call.
• If you never put yourself first, this is your wake-up call.
• If you've become someone you don't recognize to please other people or to chase some version of success that doesn't resonate with you, this is your wake-up call.
• If you are constantly numbing out with food, shopping, booze, TV, or other distractions, this is your wake-up call.
• If you are worn down, beat up, stressed out, and completely depleted, this is your wake-up call.

Getting your wake-up call is not the hard part, answering the call is. Choosing to answer the call instead of ignoring it is hard. Right now, it may feel easier to keep going, and going, and going. But you know if you don’t find a way out of the endless cycle you’re in, it’s going to get worse.

Spend 2017 With Us Making One Powerful Change At A Time