FIVE PROMISE YOU SHOULD MAKE TO YOURSELF AND KEEP FOREVER

Life is not all rainbows and butterflies.  It can be tough sometimes.  And you've paid a heavy price to get this far, so the best option is to really make it count by moving forward from where you are.  Free yourself from the world's negativity – from the sources of ignorance telling you what you can and cannot do – by promising to look ahead, to live ahead, and to get ahead.  In other words, start making positive promises to yourself!
Promise to fight back, to fight harder, to laugh louder and longer and slap adversity back into its seat whenever it dares to stand against you.  Promise to be a force to be reckoned with – because you are a force to be reckoned with.
Make these promises to yourself, and keep them forever. Repeat after me: "I promise..."

1.  "I will not hold the past against myself." – Your problems, your weaknesses, setbacks, regrets and mistakes teach you if you're willing to learn, or they will punish you if you're not.   So let them teach you, every day.  Take everything as a lesson learned.  If you regret some of the decisions you have made in the past, stop being so hard on yourself.  At that time, you did your best with the knowledge you had.  At that time, you did your best with the experience you had.  Your decisions were made with a younger mind.  If you were to make these decisions with the wisdom you have today, you would choose differently.  So give yourself a break.  Time and experience has a wonderful way of helping us grow and learn to make better choices today, for ourselves and those we care for. 
2.  "I will live a life that feels right to me, not one that looks right to everyone else." – Give yourself permission to follow the path that makes YOU happy.  And realize that some people in your life will refuse to walk beside you as you embark on this journey; they simply won’t approve no matter what you say, and that’s OK.  Sometimes when you commit yourself to creating your own happiness, it clashes with the perceptions of others.  Sometimes when you gain something great, you have to let go of something else.  And sometimes this ‘something else’ is a relationship that only wants you to do what they want you to do.
3.  "I will let go of relationships that are obviously not meant to be." – Most people come into your life temporarily simply to teach you something.  They come and they go and they make a difference.  And it’s OK that they’re not in your life anymore.  Not all relationships last, but the lessons these relationships bring to you do.  If you learn to open your heart and mind, anyone, including the folks who eventually drive you mad, can teach you something worthwhile.  Sometimes it will feel weird when you realize you spent so much time with someone you are no longer connected to, but that’s exactly how it’s supposed to be.  You are exactly where you’re supposed to be.  We all are. 
4.  "I will not let any situation permanently steal my smile." – Even when times are tough, take a moment to pause and remember who YOU are.  Take a moment to reflect on the things that have real and lasting meaning in your life.  And then smile about how far you’ve come.  Honestly, nothing in this world is more beautiful and powerful than a smile that has struggled through the tears.  Any fool can be happy when times are easy.  It takes a strong soul with real heart to develop smiles out of situations that make us weep.  No matter how long it takes, it will get better.  Keep going.  Tough situations build strong people in the end.
5.  "I will keep stretching myself beyond my previous level of comfort." – Just because you’re struggling doesn’t mean you’re failing.  Every great success requires some type of worthy struggle to get there.  Know this!  When you’re struggling, that’s when you’re growing stronger and smarter.  The more time you spend there, the faster you learn.  It’s better to spend an extremely high quality ten minutes growing, than it is to spend a mediocre hour running in place.  Every day, you want to practice at the point where you are on the edge of your ability, stretching yourself just a little more than before, making mistakes, stumbling, learning from those mistakes and stretching yourself even farther

A Good Man vs. A Real Man

Hi
What’s the difference between a “good” man and a “real” man?

Many would say a “good” man is caring, responsible, honest, fair and puts other’s needs before his own.
At the same time, many would define a “real” man as someone who is strong, aggressive, takes charge, takes risks, and leads with authority.
I know these are bold stereotypes but I also know they hold some truth.
It was meant to be a trick question.
Why should there be a difference between a “real” man and a “good” man?
More importantly, what does it mean to be a real, good man in our modern world?
We rarely consider the changes men and boys are facing as women make well-deserved strides toward equality. Studies show that men are increasingly unhappy, unmotivated, and unsure of their role in society and individual relationships.
The world needs more real, good men that can lead by example.
This is why I am teaching a seminar for
Men Only this April 1-2 in Tiburon, California.
You can click here now to learn more. I also encourage you to forward this email to any men in your life that would benefit from the experience.
The entire weekend is focused on men’s core issues.
For some men, it’s their jobs. They know they’re meant for more, something greater, something fulfilling. That could mean starting a business, or just finding a new job. Or even negotiating a new salary at work.
For some men, it’s their romantic relationships. They lack a deep connection and feel lost or unsure in their current relationship. Some keep dating the wrong women, over and over.
It’s time for a change. It’s time to create the life that every man should have.
During this breakthrough experience, I will teach you:
How to find your purpose and reach your fullest potential
The secret to a passionate, sex-filled marriage
How to master your emotions and resolve conflicts
Natural ways to boost your testosterone
How you can help a woman balance her hormones
Methods for lowering stress at home and at work
I will create a place for men that is safe and respectful, yet challenging. They will be able to speak their truth, be vulnerable, air frustrations, share pain, and find a part of themselves they have been missing.
I will lead them through discussions that examine modern masculinity, accountability, leadership, and competition. We will explore authentic male emotions, conflicts and healthy power.
The group will be engaged to revisit their life history, resolve the past mistakes and connect to the potential that lies ahead. This entire weekend is the beginning of a new future that is full of purpose and intention.
Imagine a man waking up with excitement and inspiration each morning because he knows he is doing his life’s work.
Imagine a man having full confidence in his abilities and having no worries or anxiety about what he is doing and where he is going.
Imagine having a deep connection with your partner where you can feel appreciation and enjoy the best sex of your life.
Imagine a man having the wisdom and the inner strength to create the life he has always wanted on his own terms.
This seminar teaches men what it means to be a real, good man, every day, in every way.
When a man takes an active role in his personal growth, it not only helps himself, it benefits his family, his community, and the world.

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LITTLE THINGS TO REMEMBER WHEN LIFE NO LONGER EXCITES YOU

Once upon a time, there was a girl who could do anything in the world she wanted.  All she had to do was choose something and focus.  So one day she sat down in front of a blank canvas and began to paint.  Every stroke was more perfect than the next, slowly and gracefully converging to build a flawless masterpiece.  And when she eventually finished painting, she stared proudly at her work and smiled.

It was obvious to the clouds and the stars, who were always watching over her, that she had a gift.  She was an artist.  And she knew it too.  She felt it in every fiber of her being.  But a few moments after she finished painting, she got anxious and quickly stood up.  Because she realized that while she had the ability to do anything in the world she wanted to do, she was simply spending her time moving paint around on a piece of canvas.

She felt like there was so much more in the world to see and do – so many options.  And if she ultimately decided to do something else with her life, then all the time she spent painting would be a waste.  So she glanced at her masterpiece one last time, and walked out the door into the moonlight.  And as she walked, she thought, and then she walked some more.

While she was walking, she didn’t notice the clouds and the stars in the sky who were trying to signal her, because she was preoccupied with an important decision she had to make.  She had to choose one thing to do out of all the possibilities in the world.  Should she practice medicine?  Or design buildings?  Or teach children?  She was utterly stumped.

Twenty-five years later, the girl began to cry.  Because she realized she had been walking for so long, and that over the years she had become so enamored by everything that she could do – the endless array of possibilities – that she hadn’t done anything meaningful at all.  And she learned, at last, that life isn’t about possibility – anything is possible.  Life is about making a decision – deciding to do something that moves you.

So the girl, who was no longer a girl, purchased some canvas and paint from a local craft store, drove to a nearby park, and began to paint.  One stroke gracefully led into the next just as it had so many moons ago.  And as she smiled, she continued painting through the day and into the night.  Because she had finally made a decision.  And there was still some time left to revel in the magic that life is all about.

But, but (there’s always a “but”)…

There’s more to life than just following your passion, right?

Absolutely.  For instance, not all passions earn an income, at least not in the near-term.  And most of us have families to care for, mouths to feed, and bills to pay.  So yes, there needs to be more than just passion.

But there ALSO needs to be some passion too!

The key is to realize it doesn’t have to be all or nothing.

The short story above isn’t about following your passion into a hole of debt, it’s about NOT pushing your passion off into an abyss of unhappiness.

When you discover something that nourishes your soul and brings you joy and excitement – something that truly matters to you – care enough about yourself to make room for it in your life, even if you can only spare a little time on the side.  And if you find that you don’t have any time at all for what matters to you, stop doing things that don’t…like watching another TV program or getting lost stalking people on social media.

Be intentional about how you spend your time.

In the end, purpose is the reason you journey, and passion is the fire that lights your way.  Without passion, it’s impossible to progress in life.  The heart of human excellence begins to beat when you discover a pursuit, big or small, that absorbs you, frees you, challenges you, and gives you a sense of meaning.   Some resist this fact and think passion is just fluff.  Well that’s nonsense!  Honestly, the saddest mentally stable people I’ve ever met in life are the ones who don’t have a deep passion about anything at all.  Passion and satisfaction go hand in hand, and without them, any happiness is only temporary, because there’s nothing meaningful behind it to make it last.

So remember, if there was ever a day to follow your heart and do something small that matters to you, that day is today.

Here are some little things worth remembering:

1. A big part of your life is a result of the choices you make.  And if you don’t like your life – if it completely lacks excitement and passion – it’s time to start making changes and better choices.
2. Life is to be enjoyed, not endured.  You CAN follow a path that moves you.  You are always free to do something small and positive that makes you happy
3. There is good reason why you should wake each morning and mindfully consider what and who you will give your day to.  Because unlike other things in life – money, entertainment, obligations, etc. – time is the one thing you can never get back once it’s gone.
4. It’s not what you say, but how you spend your time.  If you really want to do something, you’ll find a way.  If you don’t, you’ll find an excuse.
5. Your passion is an inherent part of you.  Never give up on something that you can’t go a day without thinking about.  Nothing you have that much passion for is ever a waste of time, no matter how it turns out in the long-term.
6. When you focus your heart and mind upon a meaningful purpose, and commit yourself to fulfill that purpose a little bit every day, positive energy gradually floods into your life.
7. We have to stop telling ourselves that other people are our reason for being unhappy, unfulfilled, etc.  They aren’t in the long run.
8. The more we fill our lives with genuine passion and purpose the less time and energy we’ll waste looking for approval and admiration from everyone else.
9. Your body may eventually grow tired, you may lie awake some nights listening to your past regrets, you may miss your only love, you may see the world around you overcome by negativity, or know your respect has been trampled on by unfriendly faces.  There is only one thing for healing that works every time – to rediscover what excites you and then dive deeper into it.  That’s the only positive effort that a battered mind can never exhaust, never alienate, never be tortured by, never fear or doubt, and never dream of regretting
10. Just one small step today.  That’s all.  True purpose has no time limit.  True passion has no deadline.  Don’t stress and overwhelm yourself.  Just do what you can right now – just the next smallest step on a meaningful path.

Afterthoughts… On Being Passionate

Passion is the secret ingredient that has kept me going through some of the most painful times of my life.  Because at some point, especially when the going gets tough, you have to wonder what you’re doing and why.

Over the years, I’ve questioned myself and given myself a thousand little reasons to keep working on CLINTONFAZE.BLOGSPOT.COM, but it always comes back to where it started – it comes down to my core passion to explore life’s challenges, study them, and write about them.

What distinguishes many of us who are actively pursuing a small piece of our dreams from those of us on the couch is that some of us have learned the hard way – perhaps through a severe loss or crisis – that life is short, and that we must capitalize on the priceless opportunities each day gives us, on the raw potential our minds and bodies are capable of, and on every ounce of willpower we can muster to make our journeys worthwhile.

Of course, we can’t do it all and we can’t have it all.  Sometimes we have to say no to good things to be able to say yes to the most important things.  Sometimes we have to take little risks with our time and energy.  But in life, if you don’t risk anything, you risk everything.

So go head and take a little risk today.

Feel some passion.

Discover love.

Run free.

And revel in the magic that life is all about.

HOW TO CHANGE YOUR THOURTH WHEN YOU CANT CHANGE ANYTHING ELSE

Let me share a quick story and a powerful lesson with you... “There’s a vivid, beautiful, priceless piece of art hanging right in front of you. It’s sophisticated and detailed – a painstaking labor of deep devotion and love. The colors and textures are like no other – they soar and dip, they shine bright and leap right out at you! And yet you choose to fixate your eyes on the tiny, dark housefly that has landed on the edge this masterpiece. Why would you choose to do such a thing?” She cracked a half smile in my direction and then shifted her gaze down to the ground. “Look,” I said, “the point here is that there’s no possible way to be 100% certain about anything in this world. Life, like good art, is sophisticated, complex and unpredictable. So you’re left with a choice: either appreciate it and look for the beauty in it, or focus on the worst and dwell on it.” But if you expect the worst, you’re never disappointed,” she said under her breath. 

 “Yeah, but who really lives like that?” I replied. “No one – that’s who! People die slowly every day like that, without ever truly living!” That’s the gist of a conversation I had this past weekend with an attendee of our seminar (I’m sharing this with her full permission). She literally started the conversation by telling me that expecting negative things to happen is her way of coping with life’s challenges. If you can relate in any way at all, it’s time to revamp your mindset. And make no misunderstanding about it, when you are feeling down in the dumps, the battle you are going through isn’t fueled by the words or actions of others, and it isn’t fueled by what did or didn’t happen in the past either. It’s fueled entirely by your mind that gives negativity a voice. Believing in negative thoughts and acting on them is the single greatest barrier to living a good life. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, the mind is your battleground. It’s the place where the fiercest and most ruthless conflict resides. It’s where half of the things you feared were going to happen, never actually happened. It’s where your expectations always get the best of you. It’s where you fall victim to your own train of thought time and time again. And if you allow these self-defeating thoughts to dwell in your mind, they will succeed in robbing you of peace, joy, productivity, meaning, and ultimately your life. You will think yourself into endless disappointment, heartache, and even depression. Bottom line: You are what you think! And you can’t change anything if you can’t change your thinking. But are you ready for the silver lining? YOU CAN change the way you think. And if you can change the way you think, you can master a new way to be.

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HOW TO FEEL BETTER ABOUT NOT BEING GOOD AS YOU SHOULD BE

Here’s the bitter truth: we will never be as good as we think we should be.
None of us will.
There will inevitably be times when we slip up and fail to meet our (unreasonable) expectations of ourselves.  It’ll likely happen quite often too.  And if we don’t embrace these slip-ups and failures as necessary lessons learned, we will gradually and unknowingly become self-conscious about everything we’re not doing and achieving according to planned.
Honestly, it happens every day to the best of us – we hopelessly catch ourselves thinking about how we’re falling short.

We worry that we haven’t made as much progress as we thought we would.  We worry that we’ll never be as productive as we could be.  And our worrying just leads to more senseless worrying.
We worry that we don’t…

• have better-looking bodies
• get to the gym more often
• accomplish more of our goals
• etc.

We worry that we should be doing…

• something better
• something more amazing
• all those amazing things the people on TV and social media are doing
• etc.

And so, we’re left feeling guilty that we’re not as good as we “should” be – that we’re not doing the perfect thing at the perfect time, ever.
The good news is that thoughts like these are natural, because the human mind isn’t perfect – it worries about things.  But we can learn to catch and control these thoughts, so they don’t catch and control us.

Letting Go of Our “Perfect Life” Fantasies

To an extent, we all have this lavish idea in our heads about how our lives are supposed to be.  We fantasize that we should be living a different and better life…

• A life without procrastination and failure
• A life with spectacular feats of success
• A life of travel and adventure
• A life with perfect friends, family, and partners
• etc.

And through it all we’re supposed to be smiling too, right?
Wrong!  That’s not how life really works.  At least not 24/7.
The truth is, we are miraculously flawed human beings living miraculously flawed lives.  And the “miraculous” part only transpires when we accept and make the best of what we have.
Close your eyes and reflect on the present reality of your life, and whisper, “I am OK.  Life is OK.  I will let my present life situation be what it is, instead of what I think it should be, and I will make the best of it.”
The key is to accept the fact that there’s no such thing as a perfect life.  There’s no perfect thing you should have already accomplished, and no perfect sequence of things you should be accomplishing right now.
There’s just this moment you’re living through and what you choose to do with it.
And yes, disappointment with this moment, with yourself, and with others is often part of the picture – there’s no escaping this reality.
But what will you choose to do…
You can be disappointed in this moment and do nothing, or you can practice being satisfied with the opportunity to make the very best of it.